Well, now I don’t think I’m so abnormal, at least not as much. I feel like I’ve learned a lot, and I think when women have sexual dreams about men, it’s how the men make them feel, making them feel desired and protected and loved. It’s not the men themselves, per se. It’s just how the women feel when they’re with the men.
My dreams have the same feelings, but they’re provided by women, or even more, by me for other women, but the feelings are the same. So I don’t think it’s physical sexual attraction that makes women like men and dream about them. It’s the idea of someone powerful protecting you and desiring you. That’s it. It’s very simple. It’s just that usually men are the protectors and desirers of women, so that is what women think of. But that’s because society needs it to be like this.
And maybe I haven’t had dreams about men because I don’t know what it’s like to be in a real relationship with a man (which, okay, is very abnormal, I admit) and for most women sex is connected with feeling, which is why they usually won’t have sex with someone they haven’t gone out with at least a few times, and why they look down on one-night stands.
I’m not sure what that says about me, but I do know that I didn’t feel the need to be desired by men, like most women, except to make me look better to others, for social concerns, to want people to look up to me, especially when I was much younger, but that in my heart I wanted to be the desiring one. If other women weren’t so hampered by society’s (necessary?) restrictions, they might have dreams like me too.
Sexual dreams are simply the desire to desire and be desired. Organically, I think the desire to be desired and to desire could be filled by anyone, male or female. I haven’t done any studies on it, but in this case, I know I really am right and if people would be honest with themselves, it would prove I’m right.
I was recently with a woman who, as she was on top of me, said that she only has sex with women who’ve had sex with a man, so she asked me if I had, and I said, yes, but I also said that I’d never come with a man. Then she said, “Well, if I make that the rule, I’d never get to have sex with anyone!” That made me feel so much better. I’m not that abnormal.
All those articles about women having low sex drives or not orgasming are about straight women who are having sex with men, so if they are not being pleased by men, why should I think I’m so strange for not having been? For not dreaming about it or fantasizing about it?
That’s what needs to be found out – are these straight women who are not having sexual satisfaction with their male partners still fantasizing and dreaming about sex with men even so? If they are, then I’m still abnormal. But what if they’re not fantasizing and dreaming about men? Maybe I’m not so abnormal if that’s the case. I wonder.