September 16, 2009
Last night I had a dream that this really cute and adventurous girl and I were making out and having sex and in the morning I kept wanting to hold onto her but I was worried she would think I wanted a relationship with her, and she was just having fun. It made me sad that I had found someone I was so sexually compatible with but who I was afraid to be honest about wanting a real relationship with because then I thought she wouldn’t ever see me again.
When I woke up, I was so frustrated to have had another sexual dream about women. This is never going to end. When I went back to sleep, my dream was about rats – I hate them! So in my dream, every time a rat was coming towards me, some other animal (a brand new animal) would appear and eat the rat. The rats in this dream had fangs and probably could have hurt me, but the new animal always appeared at the right time.
My subconscious is so weird. I could say my sexual dream about the girl meant nothing, but I know the rat dream is very real – my roommate had said that when they had a cat in their apartment, there were no bugs or anything (and we’ve never had a rodent problem but that’s always been my fear, that I’ll live somewhere where they are a problem), but that the cat required care and feeding and shed like crazy. So I told my roommate that there needs to be some animal that can eat mice and rats to get rid of them all, but that doesn’t require any care from humans (so we don’t have to worry about feeding it) and that doesn’t shed (like the cat). So I can see where that rat dream originated.
But the dream about the girl, I’d been so good about not thinking about girls. Well, that’s not exactly true. Sometimes I like to think about it, either remembering times past or wishing for new times. What can I do.