The Men I Was Dealing with Before My First Date with Robert Hannibal (I am in Love with a Man for the First Time in My Life – Part 2a) – January 13, 2011

After Robert Hannibal told me his email address, I was, as I said, worried that he was married because the email address did not have his name in it, but the name Hannibal instead – “not Hannibal Lecter” –  he didn’t want to scare me.

He said his email referenced Hannibal the military leader, and I said, “yes, the one who went over the Alps with the elephants.” Robert Hannibal said he chose this name because Hannibal was “an African.”  I had no idea that Hannibal the military commander was African – see how Robert Hannibal teaches me so much!

But knowing this was his email address, I was very concerned that he might be married.  We just hugged good-bye when he walked me to the subway, he didn’t try to kiss me outside of the club where I worked (though inside, of course, he kissed me everywhere, and I even kissed him back!  And I hate having guys kiss me.  But I loved it with Robert Hannibal).

I went home still hopeful that he was single, or at least separated.  Yet I knew I needed to keep my options open for a guy to be my “swing partner” for couples parties in case Robert Hannibal really was married and was not able to be a regular swing partner for me.

On Wednesday, he sent me an email telling me he would send me links to swing clubs “in a few days.”   The email subject was “Good to see you again,” which made me happy, but given the fact that he wasn’t sending the links right away, I was certain he was married.

Therefore, I kept my “date” that night with a guy I had met at the club the week prior.  He was Filipino, and he had been too shy to have sex at the club and I felt sorry for him, so I agreed to a dinner date even though I knew he would want sex after.  I didn’t even expect him to pay for private sex with me because I felt so sorry for him.  He was newly divorced but hadn’t had sex for a long time.

I told this Filipino guy via text after he asked me out, very apologetic about monopolizing my time, that he was “the only one at the club I wanted to have sex with” to ease him and calm him down.

But of course he didn’t understand that although I meant every single word, I didn’t mean it in the way normal people mean it when they say that phrase.  I have to have sex with men at Onie’s club – that is my job.  If I am going to have to have sex with  men, I would rather have sex with men who are not old, preferably with  dark skin and who aren’t hairy, and this Filipino guy was the only one the night I met him at the club who had all those characteristics.

We had dinner but it was hard to concentrate because the night before I’d been with Robert Hannibal at Onie’s club, and that day I had received Robert Hannibal’s email which led me to really think he was married. After dinner, I put off sex with the Filipino as long as I could, but finally I just let him do it, and it was good for him to break the ice, so to speak, after his many sexless months.

But I just kept thinking of Robert Hannibal and remembering how amazing he was at sex and hoping I was wrong about him being married.


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