I feel kind of guilty because these guys are going to Onie’s club in anticipation of this wild group sex with lots of women who love men and can’t get enough of them. And yet all of us women are paid to be there and to “keep the room moving.”
The other girls who work there all wear lingerie but I just wear the standard white towel that all the guys wear. Onie provides the towels, so I don’t understand why the girls would want to waste wearing their own lingerie for this job.
For one, the girls complain about losing their underwear, and since I don’t wear anything under the towel, I don’t have to worry about losing anything. Also, I feel like lingerie should be worn only for special occasions, for special people. This job is a job.
Most of the other women at this job are not very attractive to me. I think they’re nice and funny, but I’m not attracted to most of them. They’ve all gone down on me, though, and they are quite good.
In fact, one time when the other girls were all around me, touching and kissing me, and the guys were watching as one of the girls went down on me, I moaned a little. Kayla, the older white woman in her mid 40’s, said, “that’s the first time I’ve ever heard a sound out of her!”
Which is true. When I’m having sex I never make a sound. It’s not that I try not to make a sound, but no sound comes out because I don’t feel anything. If the guy is pushing too hard I tell him it hurts, but that’s it.
Even with Robert Hannibal, who I love, I don’t make a sound. But with Robert Hannibal, my heart does race, and I do cling to him. Always, I make love to him. But he still doesn’t get me to come or orgasm. But I don’t need to with him. Just being with him is enough! Robert Hannibal is all I need.
Most of the guys who go to Onie’s tell me I’m the prettiest one there and they say they can’t get over how beautiful and sexy I am. One guy who I ended up going home with because he offered me money (we didn’t have sex at the club, not til I went home with him), and he wasn’t disgusting (he was young and reasonably cute and Asian and funny and smart), told me when we were at the club that I was “the hot commodity.” He knew we were getting paid (the smarter guys usually figure it out), and he told me I should get paid more than the other girls.
Now, although my whole life I have always been considered cute and/or pretty, and sometimes beautiful, that doesn’t mean I was considered one of the prettiest girls. I wasn’t. So, so many of the girls who attended church and school with me were very, very pretty, much prettier than I was.
I really feel like the quantity of pretty girls I’ve gone to church and to school with is astounding. And I attended many different schools and wards (LDS congregations) because my family moved around so much, but somehow there were always so many pretty girls, my own age and older.
I cannot even count how many girls I had crushes on when I was growing up (usually very painful crushes, and all unrequited), on girls in school and in church. Over the course of my life, I have had several guys ask me if Mormon girls are always so pretty and the answer I always give them is an emphatic YES!
So I have enough common sense and self-awareness to know that the same holds true today, even as I’m older and in grad school. If any of these guys who go to Onie’s parties went to my church or my school, they would see that I may be pretty, but I am not one of the prettiest ones. There are some absolutely stunning and beautiful and hot girls, especially at my school. I am not even close to being as good-looking as some of the Indian girls at my school. They are simply gorgeous.
Plus, outside of Onie’s parties, or any sexual situations, I dress like a schoolmarm, a sensible shoes-wearing librarian-type. When I’m naked I look better, because my dowdy clothes take away from my attractiveness.
But in this situation at Onie’s club, I am considered to have the best body and the prettiest face. It’s all relative. I take it in stride.
Though in my own mind, I think “Gia,” a light-skinned black girl, has the prettiest face. Her features are so petite and feminine while my features are huge and masculine, with my manly lesbian jaw.
Also, if Gia just lost a little weight in her hips and legs and stomach, she would have a better body than me. She’s not fat at all, but she’s had a few kids. I’m probably the only woman working in this capacity at Onie’s club who hasn’t had any kids, so of course I’m going to have the best body. I’m lucky that I have an hourglass shape, but I sure could tone up. Considering I haven’t had any children, I should be much more toned.
Gia and I have had a few threesomes together, and I love being with her. The job is so much better when I can be involved with the other women! I think Gia is the best-looking woman at the job, but I’m really most intensely attracted to the twins.
The twins are “Cinnamon” and “Desire,” and they are light-skinned black twin sisters who everyone says look like Tia and Tamara Mowry, the stars of that TV show, “Sister, Sister” (though to me, they are much prettier than Tia and Tamara). I really, really, really like these girls! I have so much fun with them and I am so attracted to them. They are each such sensual lovers. So sensual.
They keep their sexual distance from each other, being that they’re sisters, but as long as I get to be with one or the other of them, I have a great time at work. I really love being with him. I just want to keep kissing them over and over.
I’m closer with Desire but I love them both. Desire calls me her “smart beauty,” – I love that she has a nickname for me. I am so attracted to her – I just cannot get enough of her.
A few weeks ago, the night of January 13 at about 3:30am (technically January 14), the twins and I walked to the subway together after leaving work at Onie’s club. We were discussing who are the best lovers at Onie’s club.
I immediately said, “Robert Hannibal,” and the twins asked if he was the guy who looks like John Legend. Robert Hannibal is so, so, so, so much better looking than John Legend! But yes, I suppose some might say he looks like John Legend, but to me he doesn’t. Robert Hannibal only looks like himself, and he is perfect.
The twins said Robert Hannibal and another guy were the two best lovers at the club, but I insisted that only Robert Hannibal was a good lover. The absolute best. I confessed that I was in love with him, and they asked if Kayla knew, because Kayla was in love with him too.
I told them that Robert Hannibal has taken me to couples-only swing clubs on three different dates, and he’s never taken Kayla anywhere. I told the twins that the night before, in fact, Robert Hannibal had taken me to get a couple’s sensual massage for our fourth date, and I told them how I was jealous of the masseuse.
I told them that even though I knew he was married, I wanted him all to myself when I got to see him. But I knew his wife was first in his life.
As we were in the subway station, we ran into a Jewish guy I had met at a Mormon BBQ. I love seeing people randomly, especially on the subway. He asked where we were heading from and we just said, “a party.”
This conversation reminded me of my hostess dancing job in college, where I couldn’t tell anyone where I actually worked. Why can’t what I do in my part-time job be socially accepted (and legal)?
The twins and I also talked about starting our own business and making more money. Onie, the owner of Onie’s clubs, doesn’t pay us as much as we should get, so we are trying to figure out a way to make more money on our own.
For me, again, this is only temporary – my contract ends March 31, 2011 and then I have to start living like a temple-worthy Mormon. I will miss the easy money I get by having sex with men, I will miss being with women, especially Gia and Cinnamon and Desire, and of course I will miss being with Robert Hannibal most of all!